06 November 2014

London McCabe, Rest in Peace

 London McCabe, aged 6, thrown off a bridge into icy water by his mother.

In response to yet another child-murder death in the autism community. My heart is heavy today.



"Oh but you have to walk a mile in their shoes," they tell us, when sympathising with mothers who murder their autistic babies. In reply to that I must ask, "But do YOU genuinely walk a mile in their shoes?" Because if you think you do, you must at some point ask yourself how bad things need to be before you would consider murdering your child. To walk a mile in their shoes requires you to try to imagine how they got to the point of making that decision, and decide when you would reach that same point.

Where's your line? When will YOU be willing to murder YOUR child?

Let's explore that a little. How bad do things need to be? If your child doesn't talk to you, should they die? If he is withdrawn and seems disconnected, is that enough for you to kill him? Maybe that's acceptable to you. But then, what if she is unable to try new food because it terrifies her so much - is that enough to make you kill her? Where's your line? If he has daily meltdowns, is that enough to tip you over the edge? What if she seems like she will never toilet train - will that make you murder her? If your child never says, "I love you," will that be enough for you? If your child has seizures, is that the ticket to certain death at your hand? Maybe if your child barely seems to sleep? Where is YOUR line?

It is highly likely that you will be appalled by these questions, horrified at the idea of you killing your child, for any reason at all. In which case, I hope my point is made. You cannot walk a mile in the shoes of someone who will take actions that you would never take yourself.

Hopefully if you've read this far, you now realise that the majority of parents find it impossible to imagine killing their children, no matter how hard their circumstances are.

It is never appropriate to say that because a child is disabled, the parent deserves a larger dose of our compassion when they commit murder. No matter how hard we try, those of us who see our children as the wonderful little people that they are, simply cannot understand the workings of the mind of a parent who kills their offspring.

It is NOT POSSIBLE to walk a mile in their shoes. And quite frankly, the idea disgusts me.

RIP beautiful babies. So sorry to see yet another light snuffed out.

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